A woman has been applauded for putting her “private conversation” with her brother, where she expressed doubts about marrying his bride, on speakerphone, which resulted in an end to the groom’s relationship on his wedding day.
In a recent post shared to the Subreddit “Am I the A**hole?,” a user who goes by u/Ok-Example6948 revealed how her brother, “Ben,” has been engaged to his fiancé “Abby” for more than eight years. Although they almost got married three years ago, Ben had “chickened out”.
The woman detailed how Ben has “issues with commitment,” due to trauma that they faced as children, but that she thought that he’d spent the “last year” trying to “step up” for Abby.
They [Abby and Ben] went to therapy and basically because our dad left us he has issues with commitment,” the sister explained. “We thought over the last year he was finally gonna step up for Abby and be the partner she deserves.”
Ben and Abby had made new plans to officially get married, and according to the groom’s sister, he was a “bit anxious leading to the big day”. He then “assured everyone [that] he was OK”.
However, on his wedding day, when Abby and the rest of her bridesmaids arrived at the church, Ben was “nowhere to be found.”
The original poster (OP) said that everyone “tried to calm [Abby] down,” as they told her that Ben could have been stuck “in traffic” or “probably had a monster hangover.”
“Well an hour passed, then two, then three, and then after the four hour mark, Abby said she was going back to the hotel [and to] call her when he landed,” the post continued.
“My family looked panicked and nervous trying to get through to Ben or the groomsmen, who had not arrived yet,” she added. “My other brothers and brother-in laws (sister’s husband) went looking for him, thinking he got hurt or arrested the night before.”
The woman said that she went back to the hotel to comfort Abby. As they “drank and ate food” together, the original poster got a text from her brother-in-law de ella saying that the groom was “found in a bar”. His family of him was also “trying to talk him into going to his own wedding”.
“My sister rang her husband and heard [the groom] in the background,” she continued. “He was literally acting like a five-year-old who didn’t want to go to the doctor. Honestly guys I had enough at this stage. I’ve messed this girl [up for] too long and frankly, leading someone along for 18 years is just cruel.”
She then recalled how she was on the phone with her brother and put their conversation on speaker while Abby was in the room, without telling Ben that his bride could hear him.
“I walked into Abby’s room, told her to be quiet, and then I rang my brother in law, put him on speaker,” she said. “[I] asked him what was going on [and] then for him to put Ben on the phone. The drunk fool started saying s*** like, he didn’t think [Abby] was the one and he is only with her because they’ve been together too long and he is scared to be alone.”
“I let her hear everything,” the sister continued. “I won’t lie, I felt like a monster when she started crying. Abby then grabbed the phone, and told him he had one hour to get to the church or it was over for good.”
Ben got to the church within 20 minutes, however, Abby still “took off her dress then left the hotel alone”.
“So he ended up being left at the altar and she went on the honeymoon alone,” the Reddit user concluded. “I’ve been disowned by everyone except two siblings (sisters) and I had to get Abby’s maid of honor to collect my suitcase from outside the hotel (mom dumped [it] out when she found out).”
She said that she’s been fully blamed by her family for “ruining [her brother’s] relationship” and that “98 per cent of [them]” hated her.
As of 22 April, the post has more than 19,600 upvotes, with readers in the comments coming to the sister’s defense and noting how she did the right thing by letting Abby listen in the phone call.
“You did her a favor by having her hear it. You did something no one else ever did for her. The truth to move on,” one wrote. “I left her at the altar! He talked about his supposed life partner of her as if she was an object. Do you honestly think you did wrong by helping her find out the entire unedited truth?”
“What she did was the right thing knowing that doing so was going to require a great sacrifice at her expense,” another wrote. “IMO [in my opinion]OP is the farthest you can possibly get from being an [a**hole].”
Other Reddit users continued to applaud the original poster for calling her brother’s behavior out and for accepting the backlash from her family.
“OP is the kind of friend that everyone needs,” a commenter wrote. “She threw herself under the bus to prevent future [sister-in-law] from having to endure another 18 years of pain and heartbreak. An a ** hole would be complicit in her brother’s behaviour, they would knowingly allow him to take advantage of her whilst saying nothing.
“She accepted the backlash and hate from everyone to do right by the poor ex-bride,” another comment reads. “He honestly said she wasn’t the one and he just didn’t want to be alone ON HIS WEDDING DAY!!! (Doesn’t matter that he was drunk and unaware. He chose to drink and say it.)”
The Independent have contacted u/Ok-Example6948 for comment.
George Holan is chief editor at Plainsmen Post and has articles published in many notable publications in the last decade.