Will Smith has always considered himself “a coward.” A man who did not know how to confront the aggressor of his mother, his father, despite witnessing violent episodes from an early age. That he observed, passively, how his mother left her home to get away from the abuse and whose only viable solution that came up —on two occasions— was suicide. His primal instinct led him to escape, rather than face the situation. A very different image from the carefree, positive and successful that the actor has been projecting for 35 years since his first appearance on the small screen thanks to The prince of Bel Air. The latter is the product of a composition of light and shadow. From an existence full of obstacles and rugged moments marked by alcohol, drugs and the promise of becoming a Hollywood star, interspersed with a story of overcoming that has led to redemption. His worldwide recognition has prompted him to go to confession; Not all that glitters in his past is gold and has reflected it in his memories, which bear his same name, Will (editorial Zenith) and they constitute a chronological review of its history.
His “normal” childhood is contrasted with the harsh experiences that followed. Loved by his loved ones, the one who later became a rapper, actor and film producer grew up in a beautiful house in the Woodcrest neighborhood, west of Philadelphia (Pennsylvania, USA). Neither economic problems, nor school problems, nor of any other kind. Something that, he admits, contributed to the constant criticism he received early in his career as a rapper. “He was not a pimp or dealt with drugs,” he assures in his opening lines, aware that his environment was very different from what other young blacks were exposed to in the American streets of the eighties. The ceiling over his head seemed safe, but it fell apart as he entered his teens.
The mental health problems and insecurities that he has dragged to the present are based on the hatred he forged towards his father, Willard Carrol Smith. Young Smith knew he was “violent and alcoholic” – he says his father started smoking at age 11 and drinking at 14 – but was not aware of the severity until he saw him hitting his mother. “I saw her collapse and spit blood. That moment, probably more than any other moment in my life, has defined who I am ”, he confessed through the pages of the almost 500-page autobiographical book. The idea of taking his own life has tempted him several times after what happened. When his mother, Caroline Bright, got fed up with the abuse and left, leaving Smith and his siblings behind, she was left empty and vulnerable. “He went to work the next morning and didn’t come back,” he says.
That moment later led him to contemplate the possibility of killing his father — by throwing him down the stairs — for the damage he had done to him in the past; a thought that he finally abandoned. The idea haunted his mind for years, but wasn’t about to materialize until much later, when his father was diagnosed with cancer and he was forced to care for him.
The actor has not only revealed his family relationships, but also his love ones. Before meeting his current wife, Jada Pinkett, the African-American artist suffered a disappointment that led him to take refuge in unbridled sex, unleashing reactions in his body that he had never imagined experiencing. It all started with his break up with Melanie, one of his girlfriends —with whom his mother caught him having sex on one occasion—, who unexpectedly broke up with Smith “Up to this point in my life I had only had sex with one woman other than Melanie. But during the following months, I became a hyena ”, a“ predator ”, a stage that he now regrets.
“I had sex with many women, and it was so unpleasant for me that I developed a psychosomatic reaction to having an orgasm. He could literally gag and sometimes even vomit, “he said, assuring that he would not have tired of trying again and again with unknown women if with this he could find” the definitive one. ” In reality, all he was looking for was to fall in love again. However, his uncontrolled actions resulted in a disorder. “I was hoping by God someone would make that pain disappear, but there I was, gagging and unhappy,” he said, revealing that he only managed to turn the page when he discovered the benefits of tantric sex. “What I did was clear my mind and let me know that it is okay to be who I am,” wrote the actor, who was able to reconcile with himself after forging a relationship with what is now his life partner, Pinkett Smith.
Together with her – despite the fact that during the first months after meeting they drank alcohol daily – he discovered how to live a “healthy” sex, although later their relationship suffered several crises. “We started at a very early age”, he has narrated, which caused that, after maturing, they developed a different vision regarding the concept of “relationship”. However, the two managed to reach an agreement to maintain an open relationship and end their arguments.
His book, which has just been released in Spain by the hand of Zenith, serves as a confessional, and has anecdotes such as the night he had to spend in jail after a fight, as well as one of the moments “Most heartbreaking” of his life, when his son Jaden Smith asked him to emancipate himself at 15 years old. The events took place after both co-starred in the film After Earth, which Smith describes as “a critical failure with terrible box office numbers.” The actor served his son as a mentor during filming to no avail; a failed leadership that “disappointed” Jaden and led him to consider drastic measures after receiving fierce attacks from the press. “When he asked to be legally emancipated, my heart broke into a thousand pieces,” he revealed. “There is nothing worse than knowing that you have hurt your children.”