You are being prosecuted for speeding.
Your first line of defense is to say there must have been a mistake because you have never owned a car in your life. Documents are quickly produced to prove that you do in fact, own a car.
It doesn’t matter. Your next move is to say, “OK, I do own a car. Fine. But there’s no way I was the one driving it.”
Photographic evidence is then produced showing you at the wheel of the car at the time of the offence, laughing your head off as you hit 100mph in a 30 zone. “Damn,” you say. “OKAY. It was me, but here’s the thing. I didn’t realize it was a 30 zone. I thought it was OK to do 100.”
Inevitably, evidence is then produced that shows not only did you know it was a 30 zone, you personally signed the papers declaring it a 30 zone and went on TV to talk at length about how good and important this zone was and how we must all obey the limit. You have now been caught in three, proven, open lies. What happens to you?
If you’re Boris Johnson, absolutely nothing. We went from “I didn’t attend any parties”, to “I attended a few but no rules were broken”, to “OK, rules were broken but I didn’t understand the rules so it’s fine”. With no consequences.
In fact, you get to go on state TV – GB News, our very own version of Fox News – where you are interviewed by two people who love you and let you sit there and spew out yet more lies.
While all of this was going on, next door at No11 Downing Street, it transpired that our Chancellor was in charge of the UK’s money while legally domiciled in another country for tax-avoidance purposes while his wife didn’t pay UK tax at all because she was legally domiciled in yet another country. The good news is the disgrace of this was so huge that Rishi Sunak had to resign.
Oh wait. No. He was fine. Nothing happened.
Across the water in America, it turns out that Team Trump actually put their plan to overturn the 2020 election in writing. Two days after the election, while votes were still being counted, then president Trump’s half-witted idiot son Don Jnr (the child, you’ll remember, that Trump hesitated to have named after him in case he turned out to be “a loser ”, one of the few instances of Trump’s foresight actually being bang on the money) sent texts to Trump’s chief of staff Mark Meadows that were basically captioned, “WAYS WE CAN FRAUDULENTLY OVERTURN THE ELECTION AND JUST STAY IN POWER”.
Mind you, I could have saved the January 6 commission the trouble of digging into Don Jnr’s texts. You only had to watch the deranged news conference Donald Snr gave at 2am on election night – the one where he said, “We were getting ready to win this election, frankly WE DID WIN IT!” before asking for all vote counting to be stopped and have himself declared the winner – to get the idea that, “Hey, maybe these guys aren’t going to play by the rules’.
But now all the evidence is out in the open the good news is that the Trumps are all going to be prosecuted for conspiring to defraud the American people.
Oh no, hang on. Nothing of the sort happened. They’re totally free to go about their business while Fox News – the real Fox News, not the British version – devotes zero mention to the scandal while banging on 200 times a day about Hunter Biden’s laptop.
What happens to a country when it becomes so corrupt that the rules only apply to the little people? When the wealthy and powerful are free to choose which laws apply to them?
When they have state propaganda channels that will happily broadcast any version of the truth they want?
You’re seeing it now in real time. You end up with a lawless, brutal state that is an international pariah.
Led by a guy in a bunker somewhere deep beneath Moscow directing an illegal, genocidal invasion.
How the American dream turned sour unless you’re filthy rich…
And while the privileged rewrite the rules to suit themselves and slide through life untouched, what’s happening to those less fortunate?
Demand for food banks has been steadily rising over the pandemic, but recently, it’s been growing exponentially.
Managers at food banks in major UK cities are now openly saying they are “terrified” by what they’re seeing. The good news is that energy prices are set to get much lower, so…
Oh no. Wait. That is not what’s happening at all. Energy prices are about to go through the roof.
And these people will move from being “needy” to being “utterly desperate”.
How did we get to these shocking levels of inequality? There might be a clue in these sobering stats from America…
Net worth 2012: $2,000,000,000
Jeff Bezos 2012: $18,400,000,000
mark zuckerberg 2012: $17,500,000,000
US Minimum Wage 2012: $7.25
I think I see a way out of this.
Tax. The. Rich.