Man, 24, who wrote suicide note in bleak lockdown slams Tory Christmas parties


Kynan Wilkes wrote a suicide note during his darkest days while isolating alone during lockdown, and said he is ‘outraged’ that the government ‘think they’re above the law’

Kynan Wilkes, 24 has bravely told the Mirror about his struggle with mental health while he, and the rest of the country, followed the rules that the government broke
Kynan Wilkes, 24 has bravely told the Mirror about his struggle with mental health while he, and the rest of the country, followed the rules that the government appear to have ignored

A young man who struggled with his mental health and thought of taking his own life during lockdown has slammed the the government for Christmas rule breaking.

Kynan Wilkes, 24, says he had a ‘mental breakdown’ after being forced to isolate alone away from his family.

He has a history of experiencing poor mental health, but as the country began to shut down last year, he says he fell into a dark depression.

Having previously worked in a busy pub and becoming accustomed to a buzzing environment, being forced to completely isolate due to his asthma took its toll.

Kynan, from Leeds, told the Mirror: “I have mental health issues anyway- the usual Molotov cocktail of depression and anxiety – but it became a lot darker.

Kynan has bravely spoken out about his struggle with his mental health during lockdown


Kynan Wilkes)

“I was cut off from everyone, I didn’t see anyone or talk to anyone.

“I recently moved to Leeds so I didn’t have a solid group of people I could message and say ‘do you want to go for a socially distanced wander somewhere?’.

“I had a diary at the time and I wrote down how I was going to kill myself, every day.

“It was quite detailed, and I didn’t realise how detailed and dark it was at the time.

“I wrote a suicide note at one point – I looked back and was like ‘this is not good, this in not healthy’.

“Something needed to change but nothing did.”

With his family living outside of the city and not having nearby support, Kynan ‘became a shell of a person’.

He said that no matter what he tried, he had no enthusiasm or energy.

Kynan continued: “I lived with a housemate but he left as soon as lockdown one hit – he went back to his parents.

Kynan was a ‘shell of person’ but still followed the rules that the government disregarded


Kynan Wilkes)

“I met up with nobody because that increased my risk, I couldn’t see my mum because she was told to shield, I couldn’t see family.

“I lost energy, I was sleeping all the time, I wasn’t eating correctly. I was not functioning as a person.

“My body and life completely shut down and I wasn’t talking to anyone.”

Thankfully, he was able to pull himself out of the dark place as the country was weeks away from opening up over summer.

The fact that he could soon go back to work and have routine gave him hope.

However, Kynan is furious that while he and the rest of the country were taking the Covid restrictions seriously and following the rules, the government were partying and having wine and cheese.

Allegra Stratton resigned as an adviser to Boris Johnson after she laughed about the Christmas party



Earlier this week, a bombshell recording was leaked to ITV News that showed senior Downing Street staff cracking jokes about a rule-breaking Christmas party at No 10, just four days after it was alleged to have taken place.

ITV’s explosive revelations have lead to Government spokeswoman Allegra Stratton to resign in response to the scandal.

The Christmas party is just one of a few alleged get togethers that members of government and staff attended, including one hosted by Tory MP Gavin Williamson while London was in Tier 2.

These boozy bashes all took place while the rest of the country were at home, following the rules that the government had set.

Speaking about the double standards, Kynan said: “It felt like they were mocking us and abusing the trust that we gave – the ability we gave them – to run the country because they think they’re above the law.

“I’ve never been this outraged or angry at a government in my life.

“My friend is a psychologist and she works on a dementia ward. [The patients] couldn’t remember their families because no one was allowed in.

“They have no idea who they are and they are crying because there is no one there that loves them.

Kynan is outraged by the government’s rule breaking and disregard for lockdown


Kynan Wilkes)

“The fact that this was going on but the people that we’ve elected and trusted to run the country and better our lives are there not being responsible and thinking they’re above the law…it confuses my mind.”

This morning, Tory Minister Michael Ellistold MPs that an investigation will “establish the facts around” events alleged to have taken place last year in Downing Street on November 27 and December 18.

It will also look at a gathering at the Department for Education on December 10.

The Prime Minister finally apologised on Wednesday after a clip emerged of his own staff joking about a “not socially distanced” bash on December 18 last year.

He initially announced a probe into the event by Cabinet Secretary Simon Case – but his spokesman confirmed that inquiry will only cover the events of December 18 last year.

It is alleged that the Prime Minister gave a speech at one of the parties



However Mr Ellis said on Thursday that it would cover allegations of a second No10 event on November 27 – during a national lockdown – where sources claimed Mr Johnson addressed a leaving do.

Kynan, who was strictly following the rules, said: “Why couldn’t they [party] on a zoom call like the rest of us had to do?

“If they think they’re above the law, why are they in a high powered position? They’re just going to abuse it again.

“I want a full investigation by an independent person. I want it investigated and the whole thing to be public information.”

He added: “We voted those people in. There needs to be responsibility and accountability by each one of those people involved, and if they’re in a position of power, that needs to be stripped from them.

“If [Boris] knew about this and let it go on, he needs to go.”

How to get help: If you are struggling or you are worried about a loved one, contact Samaritans on 116123. For more advice visit or

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George Holan

George Holan is chief editor at Plainsmen Post and has articles published in many notable publications in the last decade.

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