‘I was raped at 12 but 36 years later a jury left me devastated with their verdict’

Louise Badman, 48, faced her alleged abuser in court. She is now looking at private prosecution after the jury acquitted him of three charges and was unable to reach verdicts on six charges

Louise Badman
Louise Badman has spoken about the abuse she suffered and has complained about the way the justice system treats victims

A woman who was allegedly raped when she was 12 years old has said she felt “devastated” after a jury was unable to reach a verdict 36 years later.

Louise Badman, 48, faced her alleged abuser in court, but the man was acquitted of three charges, with the jury unable to reach verdicts on six other charges.

Now, the former nurse who lives in Bridgend, Wales, said she is looking to take a private prosecution against the man, Wales Online reports.

Louise believes she was 12 when the alleged campaign of sexual abuse began.

She said: “It hurt physically first of all. I was tiny. I was always having cystitis. I remember thinking ‘What’s happening’ and ‘Why is he doing this, why is it hurting so much’.

“I remember feeling confused and frightened and feeling is this supposed to be painful?”

Louise pictured as a child in the 1980s


Louise Badman)

Louise believes she was 12 when she was allegedly raped


Louise Badman)

On a number of occasions, Louise said she was taken to an industrial estate and lakes where she was raped in a car, causing her severe pain and mental anguish.

She added: “At 13 I started doing sex education at school. I asked him if this is how pregnancy happens and told him I didn’t want to get pregnant.

“He said I couldn’t get pregnant because he had an operation which meant I couldn’t get pregnant. I was later told by school friends I had taken a pregnancy test in school.

“He never really spoke about it, occasionally he would tell me I couldn’t tell anybody. Discussions about it were few and far between. He would tell me if I told my mother she would kill him.

“I didn’t know where to go as a child, I didn’t know where to go or turn. I still hear him saying ‘If anybody finds out your mother will kill me’. A child believes what an adult tells them. That’s what good children do, they listen. It still haunts me now. He manipulated me and groomed me into not saying anything.”

The woman said initially she did not tell anyone about the alleged abuse


Louise Badman)

The woman also said she was once forced to watch a pornographic film while the alleged abuser masturbated.

Louise said she did not tell any relative about what she had gone through because she was worried it would “bring shame or embarrassment” to her family.

She told her mother when she was 25, however at the time she did not feel ready to file a police report.

But after her grandmother’s death in January 2019, Louise decided to report the alleged rape to the police.

The man was arrested, charged and court proceedings began, with the first trial taking place at Newport Crown Court in 2020.

It resulted in the jury being discharged before it reached its conclusion.

Louise said: “I went to the court and gave evidence in person. I wanted him to see how much suffering he had caused and for the jury to see I was honest.

“It was horrendous, the first time was the worst because I hadn’t seen him for 30 years and it wasn’t very pleasant.”

Louise reported her alleged abuser to the police in 2019


WalesOnline/ Rob Browne)

A second trial took place at the same court in 2021 but the defendant was found not guilty of one count of raping a child under 12, with the jury unable to reach a verdict on the remaining counts.

A third trial took place at Cardiff Crown Court in 2021 which resulted in the defendant being found not guilty to two charges of raping a girl under 16.

The remaining charges, five counts of raping a child under 16 and one count of indecency with a child, were undecided by the jury.

The decision was made by the Crown Prosecution Service not to proceed to a third completed trial and they provided Louise with a four-page letter outlining their decision, which devastated Louise.

She said: “I was furious and really upset, I feel I have been betrayed. I can’t reconcile that in my head. I believed in the justice system, that it would help and support me and to give me justice and it has done none of those things.

“It’s been dreadful. I haven’t been able to have counselling whilst the trials have been going on.”

Louise also believes the abuse she suffered as a child affected her ability to maintain relationships with men, and when she decided to become intimate with her first boyfriend, she felt compelled to take a test for HIV.

She said: “(The alleged abuser) would boast about the women he was getting his hands on. AIDS was a death sentence back then and I still see that black tombstone now and each time that advert came on the television I got frightened and wanted to tell someone about it but I was too scared to.

“When I spoke to my boyfriend about it I told him I could have AIDS and I told him what happened. We talked and cried into the early hours of the morning and it was decided we would go to Cardiff Royal Infirmary and I would have tests before we slept together without protection.

“The tests were fortunately negative but (the experience) was horrific, I felt cheap and dirty. I lied to the doctor and gave him a false name.”

Louise is now looking to raise funds for a private prosecution and is hoping to help other victims of child sex abuse who are encountering issues with the legal system.

A CPS spokesperson said: “Two separate juries have considered this case and neither could reach verdicts on most of the offences before them. The law makes it clear that in such situations the prosecution should not seek a third trial except in exceptional circumstances.

“The decision whether to pursue a third trial was carefully considered by the CPS, including taking advice from an independent barrister, before concluding there were no exceptional circumstances which enabled us to pursue a third trial. This decision was explained in detail to the victim.

“We understand this decision is disappointing for the victim. The CPS remains committed to prosecuting offences of rape and other sexual offences whenever our legal test is met.”


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George Holan

George Holan is chief editor at Plainsmen Post and has articles published in many notable publications in the last decade.

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